I know I still owe some comments from last week and probably will be slow this week too. Editing a fairly long novel will suck up time like you can’t believe (also it’s been a terrible week at work and I felt too snarky to be allowed in public commenting on things)
Still working from These Haunted Hills. When last we saw them Josh and Brendan have been shut up in a hotel room with a ghost who’s tossing debris about. Josh is by the stuck door and Josh is across the room (to make the action clearer here since it’s lacking context>
The board rattled on the floor as it were ready to launch again. Joshua beckoned Brendan closer. Brendan had no intention of letting anything get between him and the door until Joshua pointed at the glass-less window. Brendan jogged across the room, paying no heed to the sponginess of the boards. Josh went out the window first, holding up a hand to halt Brendan. He stomped around the window with his boots, mushing down the glass.
“Okay, don’t see any snakes. Need a hand.”
Was there a hopeful tone in that question? Brendan dismissed it, handing Josh the camera before levering himself out the window into the over growth around the building.
If you’d like to play along, Rainbow Snippets is a Facebook community where we post up 6 sentences of one of our LGBT stories every Saturday. It’s been fun and you can find it here. Be sure to check out all the offers! It’s been a great supportive group!
Jana Denardo 
Excellent description flowing seamlessly with the action…well done!
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Thanks so much.
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I really like these characters. ~grin~ Best wishes on edits and the science fair. That’s nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule to be a judge. Be well!
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THanks. I’m all about encouraging young minds in science
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Love the interweaving of description with action here. Spongy floor… yikes.
And I fully understand the running behind. I’m in the midst of an editing job so I pretty much didn’t get anything else done last week. This week, however, I am trying to visit the Snippets early so I don’t miss the good stuff.
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Thank you. Yeah it’s been a killer month for me between writing and the day job
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Aw poor Joshua. At least he’s trying. Great snippet as usual
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He’s trying so hard.
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I really wouldn’t want to be in there shoes right now. Great snippet.
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Thanks so much. Brendan is definitely reconsidering some life choices here.
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Love the tension building – I want to know what happens next! Very visual and easy to imagine too.
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Glad you think so! Thanks.
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Loving this! 🙂
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Thanks so much
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This story is remaining very spoooooky!!! Great details and atmosphere!
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Thank you!
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Yeah, I’d be out of that house, fast! 🙂
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Hahhaha Brendan agrees with you.
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Oh geez, ghosts and snakes?! Nope, nope, nope!
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Brendan is with you on that
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That’s a whole lot of nope right there.
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Ahahahaha, right now Brendan agrees.
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I have to draw the line at snakes! Great snippet. I’m really enjoying this.
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Snort. Snakes are always a concern in abandoned buildings (at least out in the woods)
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